I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
