We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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