We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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