I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
