How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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