never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
