i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
A+ Viking dick
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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