You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
