I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
