found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
