Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
