he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
