I think scott just propositioned me for sex
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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