OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm sobbing to NWA
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
