There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
