Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
