dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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