Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
