hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
