I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
