You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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