the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
