I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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