i don't like sucking hair
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I looked at my own cervix.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
