just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
