all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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