I'd wear matching sweaters with you
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
