did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
