sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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