What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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