good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
