I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I intend to get homeless drunk
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
