our cab driver is having phone sex.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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