so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Welp...herpes.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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