so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
