He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
