I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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