I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
