Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
