We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
foreskin is a definite game changer
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
