But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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