i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She needs sedatives and a leash
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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