@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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