Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
