Me too!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
