Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
