Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
