we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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