He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
