I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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