you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
