On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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